Sometimes You're the Windshield ...

Not me. Not today. Today is a bug day. That's why it's appropriate to draw the Seven of Wands today.


In 78 Degrees of Wisdom, Rachel Pollack says this about the suit of Wands, "Fire symbolizes the very energy of existence. Because it rises, constantly leaping upwards, fire stands for optimism, confidence, hope." I could certainly use some of that today. Regarding the seven she writes, "Through active conflict the figure in the card rises above any depression into the clear intoxicating air."

In the card we see a man defending his home against six enemies. While it looks like a losing cause the man stands ready. Secure in his knowledge of victory. This victory is further seen in the light that reflects off of only his wand. The others remain dull.

Notice that the man is inside his house guarding the foyer and the way out to the starry night beyond. Unlike the Five of Swords which shows conflict and competition among others, the Seven shows the energies we fight are within our own homes, within ourselves.

This card also reminds me of the Eight of Swords, but while the woman in the Eight is bound by her fears, the man in the Seven of Wands knows he must take action and fight. He must remain vigilant or surrender like the bound woman.

As a person afflicted with depression this speaks to me. I must remain alert and aware of the darkness within. Even when things are going fine I need to be on my toes.

This has been trying day. I had to pull myself out of bed to face the day and every little thing is grating on my nerves (not exactly a great day to be in customer service!).

The Seven of Wands tells me to dig in and stay strong. That victory is soon at hand.

Past, Present & Future with the RWS

Last week my Gilded Tarot took an extended vacation at my friend William's house. We were sitting around watching television and the deck was digging into my thigh, so I took it out of my pocket and placed it on the end table. At the end of the evening I left with the remaining pizza, buffalo wings and 12 pack of Pepsi. Everything but my dear Gilded.

I wasn't too worried about my deck since I knew I was going back over to William for the Super Bowl. It did, however; bring up a conundrum later in the week when I wanted to read.

I really wasn't drawn to the Rider Waite Smith deck. I bought it because it is the "standard" and most books and websites that teach Tarot refer to the RWS. I found I couldn't get into the washed out images and the watercolor-like art work. It left me flat so it was with some trepidation I grabbed for the box.

I also wanted to remain true to the spirit of the PDR and didn't want to "learn" another deck. But any port in a storm ...

After my traditional interview of the deck (which I will post as soon as I can remember where I laid it down) I decided to throw a simple Past, Present, Future spread for myself. I drew three cards:

Past - Temperance
Present - The World
Future - Eight of Swords

PAST
In Temperance we find the merging of seemingly opposites. The angel is clearly female yet wears the point up triangle that signifies masculine energy. Her feet are planted one in the river and one on the rocks, showing she lives in both the spiritual and physical world. She is pouring water from one cup to another at an impossible angle. The rays of the sun coming over the mountains mimic the rays surrounding the angel's head showing an awareness that is beginning to rise. A path leads from the river through the land and up into the mountains symbolizing a journey from the unconscious and unknown mysteries of life through the physical world ending at the higher state of being.

By splitting the Major Arcana into three groups of seven cards, leaving the fool alone as the traveller, we can look at the three parts of the whole journey. The first part shows the path of finding your place in society and conquering the physical world. The second path, lead by Temperance, is the journey of inner awareness. The third leg is the search for a higher awareness.

This is telling me that my path to inner awareness was started years ago. I started the merging of my spiritual and physical selves when I was 22 years old and I have been learning and growing ever since.

PRESENT
The World is the culmination of the journey. The place we all aspire to be. The awareness that we are glorious spirit and not restrictive flesh. In the card we see a figure dancing, she holds a wand in each hand but rather than using the wand to hold a satchel as The Fool, to wield power as The Magician or to lean weary bones on as The Hermit our dancer seems to be twirling them like batons. She is surrounded in wreathes that are tied with ribbons of infinity. This represents the constant evolving state of the universe. The cycle of life on a grand scale. There is no death as we think of it. Life does not stop but is continual.

The lesson of The World for me is that I have reached the end of the journey started years ago and represented by Temperance. Since life is an infinite, never ending process it is time to start my next journey which will bring me to Higher Awareness.

FUTURE
The Eight of Swords is a card of bondage. Of imprisonment. Here we see a woman surrounded by eight swords. She is dressed in a red gown bound and blindfolded. The swords are thrust into the muddy ground that still shows puddles were water once ran. Water is symbolic of psychic ability and intuition, this shows us the woman's own abilities are drying up but still remain. Her feet stand one foot on muddy earth and one in a puddle, mimicking the angel in Temperance. Whereas the angel in Temperance is aware of living in both worlds our damsel does not realize the gifts she possesses. Although her mouth is not gagged she does not open it to call for help. Likewise, the cloths that bind her seem loose enough to fall to the ground with a good shake. In fact our subject does not look distressed. It is possible she has placed herself in this position of non movement.

Swords represent intellect and the spirit. The breath of life. When we live too much in our head, we close ourselves off to receiving the benefits of other energy. The card shows the merging of Swords with energy of Cup and Pentacle (water and earth) can assist Swords (air) or hinder them.

Flowing freely the emotion and openness of Cups irrigates the earth and allows the ideas of the swords to take root and flourish. However, if Swords exerts too much influence they can dry up the Cup's offering leaving only mud. Mud will bind you where you are.

This card is telling me that I am keeping myself from starting the journey to higher awareness. Over the last few months clues have been dropping, some a subtle as a sledgehammer, to get me started. As of yet, I have not made the commitment to myself.

Yet another clue to get Gary to move his arse. I guess I will leave fear behind (since that is what is keeping me from taking the plunge) and journey down The Road Less Travelled.

The Eight of Swords: Reflections & Dreams

Last night I had a dream. It was an almost conscious, or lucid dream. I was aware of the dream I was having and I was aware of another part of my mind, my conscious, my ... whatever ... trying to analyze the dream as I was having it. Since the dream involved the Eight of Swords I thought we would take a look at the card.

The Eight of Swords in the Gilded Tarot has always been strangely alluring to me. A card of self imposed bondage, it shows an inability to move (either forward or back) brought on by our own insecurities, worries and fears.

On it we see a woman surrounded by eight shining swords. Each of the swords radiate energy as they circle, but do not touch her. The woman is dressed in white and kneeling. Her ears and eyes are covered and her hands are bound by a golden chain. Her feet are bare. Her head is positioned downward. However, she does not look distressed. Instead she seems resigned to the fact that she is in this position.

But look a little closer, this is not as desperate a situation as first it seems. As we said before, the swords are not threatening her and the golden chain hangs loosely from her wrists. In fact, if she chose to she could probably free herself from the chains and remove the blindfold covering her ears and eyes. She could then see the energy and wisdom that is emanating from the swords.

The lesson of the Eight of Swords is that we are the creator of our own jails and of our own bondage. When thoughts are racing through the mind telling us we can't ask that person out because they are too beautiful, or we can't start that business because we are not smart enough, or even; we can't take the time to better ourselves by reading a self help book, meditating or going back to school to earn a degree because we don't have the time we feel the influence of the Eight.

Now is the time to step back and take a deep breath. Put our emotions to the side and let our logic show us the way. We need to break the chains and rip off the blindfold so we can see clearly, and we can realize the worries were just illusions constructed by our own minds. As easily as we built them up we can tear them down.

What does this have to do with my dream? Good question. Let's find out.

The dream was more of a thought and sound dream than a visual dream as I don't remember any images. In fact, I don't think there were any. I remember a grandfather. I felt, more than saw an image of the kindly old, smiling grandfather of Hallmark Cards or Norman Rockwell paintings. I don't think it could be my grandfather because all my grandparents passed before I turned one. I don't think it was my ex-wife's grandfather because I never met him before he passed and when he did make his presence known to me it was always through the smell of garlic.

Add to the image or feeling of this grandfather figure the image or feeling of the Eight of Swords. I could not see the card or even recall it's meaning. It's at this point I remember the "other" part of my mind mentally running through the deck to put definitions to the card.

I kept thinking Nine of Swords? No that's a prison built of worry. Eight of Wands? No, that's swift movement. Nine of Wands? No, that's a pleasure becoming a burden. Seven of Swords? No, that's a thief in the night. Seven of Wands? No, that's sticking up for your beliefs. It wasn't until I woke up and checked my Tarot Journal that I remembered the look and meaning of the Eight.

While these two image-feelings where playing around in my head I heard the chorus to "Right Here, Right Now" by Jesus Jones. You know:

"Right here, right now
There is no other place I want to be
Right here, right now
Watching the world wake up from history."

Over and over and over again. Even when the images of the grandfather and the Eight of Swords faded the chorus kept on loud and clear.

So what does it mean?

The Eight of Swords coupled with the chorus of "Right Here, Right Now" tells me that the illusions created by my worry and fear need to stop. Right Here. Right Now. This would also validate the reading I did with my spirit guide.

It's funny, I am currently reading Rachel Pollack's 78 Degrees of Wisdom (yes, I ripped off the title for my blog) and this morning I just finished reading about Justice. The basic theme of which is, we have to learn to accept the past if we are to have any chance of moving forward. We created the present by our actions in the past even as we are creating the future by our actions Right Here, Right Now.

It seems my guides are persistent little buggers!

The only thing I don't don't is who the grandfather figure is.

Ideas? Thoughts?